Flying High Humor

My first wife didn't like to fly, either.
— Gordon Baxter

That's not flying, that's just falling with style.
— Woody, from the 1996 movie 'Toy Story,' regarding Buzz Lightyear.

There is an art . . . to flying.

The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
— Douglas Adams, 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy'. Read the whole passage

Every time I fly and am forced to remove my shoes, I'm grateful Richard Reid is not known as the Underwear Bomber.
— Douglas Manuel, aerospace executive regards airport security. Reported in USA Today, 13 March 2003.

Landing on the ship during the daytime is like sex, it's either good or it's great.

Landing on the ship at night is like a trip to the dentist, you may get away with no pain, but you just don't feel comfortable.
— LCDR Thomas Quinn, USN.

Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle.

It's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.
— Captain Rex Kramer, in the movie 'Airplane.'

We have clearance, Clarence. Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
— Cockpit crew in the movie 'Airplane.'

The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one.

Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.
— Benny Hill

The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.
— Gunter's Second Law of Air Travel

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