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It's All In The Head!
Think for a moment, where do you spend
much of your conscious time?
Did you know that most of us are rarely present to what is
happening in the "moment", we are either comparing the instance to a
good or bad experience of the past ... or committing the
moment to a perceived future (be it better or worse).
Limiting Belief
Systems That Hold Us Back
You know I met
this fabulous guy, we got on really well, but unfortunately he
was a red head! I knew it could never work out between us
because I dated a red head at school, and reds are bad tempered
flip outs.
or
I would love to
be wealthy but I would have to win the lottery first. I
would never be able to do what the wealthy people have to do to
get rich, and hey, we all know you have to be dishonest and
greedy anyhow!
Most human beings have a gunny sack of
limiting belief systems just like these, buried somewhere in their
subconscious.
Conscious and
Unconscious Reactions
Completion is the ability to
be aware of and
see beyond, our own "Conscious" (i.e. the ones we know
about) and "Unconscious" (the ones we don't know about) reactions
and behaviours towards our life, that make us the person whom we are ~ including
the good, the bad and the ugly!
Completion is also known as "Getting
Present", and all that is required to become present in life
is to observe our own emotional
reactions.
Most of our "unconscious" reactions and behaviours were learned
"experientially" in
childhood, here is another good example.
He Hated Women Who
Wore Spectacles
 Mike, a successful financial executive, once confided to me that he
had a problem with women who wore spectacles. He didn't trust them,
had never trusted them as long as he could remember, but didn't know
why.
Mike's unconscious reactions had been abruptly brought to his
attention when a woman, whom he had turned down a promotion to,
abrasively pointed out that his entire department was filled with
women who did not wear spectacles and that she had been warned to
wear contact lenses if she hoped to move upward.
Mike nearly choked
on his coffee to be told something so absurd, but after
mentioning it to a few other members of staff, it seemed his
bias was a well known nuance. When he thought about it,
yes he did distrust women who wore spectacles, particularly the
dark thick kind!
Mike put it down to a
body language 'thing', and made a conscious effort to change his
attitude to women who wore spectacles, but he was baffled to
understand why he still felt the distrust.
Years later upon conducting the Completion Exercise Mike uncovered
the unconscious reasons for his "prejudice".
Mike recalled an incident at
around 5 years of age where a girl child (who
wore large dark thick spectacles) staked claim to a piece of his prized
artwork. Mike had made the usual toddler fuss, in fact he mused it
was probably an all out tantrum, but he was humiliatingly
reprimanded for stealing and removed from the class by a female
teacher - who also wore large dark spectacles.
Mike was embarrassed to admit that he could still feel the pain of
the injustice, and it never occurred something so far back could
still affect his life. During the Completion Exercise Mike recalled
three more childhood and teenage injustices that further cemented
his distrust of women who wore spectacles.
Kids Believe
Everything They Experience
 A child does not have the
ability to reason for himself until around the age of 13-14,
therefore a child's basic self concept and belief systems are
programmed into them, just like robots and computers, from their
experiences and the realities of those around him/her.
The majority of parental child raising 'realities' were handed down
from previous generations to be merged with a good deal of trial and
error and the fashionable society beliefs of the day.
Personalities are formed and fragmented in childhood and the affects
of our upbringing show up in the ways we handle fear, stress and
conflict.
Consider for a moment where and who your programming came from.
What role did your parents, your teachers, your religion and
community play in who you are today? What belief's, fears and
barriers did you bring with you into adulthood as a result of your
upbringing? How did this affect your present day relationships with
human beings, achievement and money?
Here is a simple exercise that demonstrates how the past affects who
we are today.
Quick Exercise:
a. Write down three traits you admired in each of your parents or
guardians, and then write three things you disliked about those same
people.
b. Now look into your own personality and compare how
their attitudes, attributes and shortcomings show up in your life.
How did their traits shape your ability to conduct loving
relationships, business relationships, create wealth and build self
esteem? What did you decide you were good at, what you would never
be good at, and where did you rebel by taking on an exact
opposite trait?
Very few people come through childhood without trauma or
misconceptions to be completed with, which is why some teachers call
Completion "Inner Child" work.
"Unconscious issues" are recognised by the negative emotions that
they bring with them and when you can be "plugged in" by another
human being or a situation, that is the sign that you have
unconscious elements operating in your life.
Little wonder children raised by families whom have been subject to
generations of wars and atrocities carry the fear and fighting into
their own adulthood.
Completing the
Past For A Powerful Future
 Completion is finalising the past and bringing any unfinished
business into the present, so that we may eliminate any unconscious
effects on our future. This is how we turn off the "brakes"
for our future success.
The Completion Exercise involves looking back into our life as far
as possible to identify the various experiences that made us who we
are. Some find that they are unable to remember further back than a
certain age, no matter, please go back as far as you can.
The Completion Exercise requires one good session of between one to
three hours to start unlocking the memory banks, and then 15 to 30
minutes each day for 7 consecutive days to focus your mind on new
thoughts .
The Completion Exercise.
Take your journal to a place that you will not be disturbed and
where possible have some quiet relaxing music playing in the back
ground.
Completion Step 1. Recall
Go back into your memory as far back as you can and seek out
instances that will pop into your mind. Journalise in point form
anything that you can remember, good and bad, for evaluating in the
next step.
Completion Step 2. Evaluate
Return to each memory in turn and journalise the incident in as much
detail as possible ...
(a) what happened, where, how, why and who was involved
(b) what did you feel then (fears, blames, joy etc)
Completion Step 3. Identify
Now discover the effects of the past on your present and future.
(c) what belief systems, attitudes and traits did you take on as a
result of this experience?
(a) what are the
disadvantages of this experience in your life
then and now? and
how will the results continue to affect your life in the future?
(b) what are the benefits of this experience in your life
then and now?
and how will the results affect your life in the future?
Completion Step 4. Complete
(a) what feelings of pain, anger or injustice remain to be dealt
with after this exercise? Who can you not forgive?
That concludes this extract on "Completion". I now invite you to
progress to the Second Factor of Achievement "Interdependence."
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