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Our modern world of prosperity thrives
on competition.
It is the back bone of most academic, business and sporting
achievements, so it may come as a surprise to learn that the
personality type “The Competitor” sits within the ten (10) most
dominating styles of communication.
The
Competitor personality is driven by “success and failure”,
“right or wrong”.
Most
modern humans engage in an element of competition, by conducting
their lives to an internalized status structure that places themselves
and others somewhere upon the ladder of success and failure, right or
wrong.
Winning
is exciting – it activates intoxicating “feel good” chemicals
naturally produced within our body, that are so potent that they are
as addictive as any other recreational drug, which is why many get
caught up on the success bug.
The
Competitor however has an exaggerated relationship with success and
failure resulting in an emotional life consisting of tumultuous
ups and downs. A dire need
to be seen as one of the best, the Competitors life switches
erratically between the exhilarations of winning and the devastations
of losing.
Competition and Status
Competitors
fix their sights upon a status perceived higher or better than their
present station, with an often contemptuous or pitiful attitude for
those considered on a lesser rung. Competitors judge themselves and others on their intelligence, their
achievements, their honesty, their dress, their material wealth,
their education, their culture and many other value structures. They
feel satisfied and secure when they "get things right".
The
competitors reality is self importance, they are the King or Queen of
their own Domain and any challenge to their value structure will be
met with a mighty display of contest and
competition, destroying more than attracting
relationships.
The
Competitor will not only demand excellence of themselves, but
will more often than not, apply
their personal expectations upon others, with that “Meat Clever Over
The Head” attitude that tends to come with this trait.
i.e. failure is not an option.
Competition never wins.
Competitors
in truth never consider themselves to be successful,
even if their achievements are impressive. There is always a better, righter or more successful way to
be. Many who suddenly find themselves “a loser” as a result of
relationship, business or financial losses,
remain trapped in the vortex of competition through the
paralysing self judgements of worthlessness and failure.
The
lesson of The Competitor is that:
There
is no such thing as success or failure – there is only consequence
to action.
Action
= results
No
action = results
Competitors
dwell in the world of “expectation”.
We already know that an unfulfilled expectation will always end
in a negative emotional reaction.
When
we live by the philosophy of success and failure –
we will experience all the emotional catastrophes of
failure, which can bottle up with devastating results to our
health and relationships …
A
more powerful option to being a Competitor is to become an
“Opportunist”
Instead
of living by failure and success, try living by “opportunity”
e.g.
“There
is an opportunity to increase my turnover by 30% this month by taking
the following action”
“There
is an opportunity to give up smoking by taking the following action”
“There
is an opportunity to achieve that deadline through the following
action”
“There
is an opportunity to improve this relationship through the following
action”
So
what’s left when an "opportunity" does not come to
fruition? Another
opportunity! ~ but certainly not failure.
Think
about it!
With
love.
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